29 Does My Child Have Special Needs? How to Navigate Diagnoses, Disabilities, and Discouragement as a Concerned Christian Mom

Is that nagging feeling in your heart telling you something about your child's development? In this first episode of our Back to School series, we're diving deep into the question every concerned parent faces: "Does my child have special needs?"

Join me as we explore the wide spectrum of what "special needs" really means - from food allergies and ADHD to sensory processing and behavioral challenges. You'll discover why many parents initially say their child doesn't have special needs, then list countless struggles they're navigating daily including medication management, behavior plans, and daily meltdowns.

We'll cover early warning signs to watch for from birth through preschool years, why "wait and see" isn't always the best approach, and the important difference between school eligibility and your child's actual needs. I'll share practical questions to ask professionals and red flags to watch out for when seeking evaluations.

Most importantly, you'll learn how to trust your God-given parental intuition and become your child's best advocate. We'll also discuss natural support strategies you can implement at home right now, including nutrition changes, toxin reduction, and sensory supports.

Keywords: special needs, child development, early intervention, parental advocacy, ADHD, autism, sensory processing, IEP, special education, developmental delays, Christian parenting, back to school, whole family wellness

Perfect for: Parents questioning their child's development, families navigating special needs evaluations, Christian mothers seeking support and biblical encouragement in their special needs journey, parents preparing for the school year.

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Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the guests and hosts and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Speaking Life Into Motherhood. None of the advice or discussion on the podcast is medical advice. Always consult with your medical provider before using any supplements, essential oils, or therapy methods.

Transcript

Hey there, beautiful mama. Welcome back to Speaking Life into Motherhood. I know many of you are listening while juggling a million things. Maybe one of your little ones is finally napping or you're folding that never-ending pile of laundry. But I also know that some of you have clicked play today because there's something weighing on your heart. Maybe it's that quiet voice in the back of your mind whispering, something feels different about my child. Or they're struggling with this and it doesn't feel like they should be.

or I keep being told that this is normal, but it doesn't feel normal to me. Today we're talking about one of the hardest questions a mama can face. Does my child have special needs? More importantly, we're going to talk about what to do when your gut is telling you something, even when everyone else is saying, just wait and see. So grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and let's dive in together.

All right, welcome back everyone. This is going to be the first episode in a kind of a back to school series that I'll be doing over the next month or so to really just kind of dig in and dive deep into some of the questions that I have been hearing from moms in my mom's group and my Facebook group. And I just know that need to be a little bit more addressed.

First, let's talk about what we really mean when we say special needs, because I think that there's a lot of confusion with this. Something fascinating that has been happening lately is I'll be talking with a mom and she'll say, my child doesn't have special needs. But then she'll tell me about food allergies that they're managing, the ADHD medication that they're navigating, the behavior plan they're working on with school, and the sensory meltdowns that they're dealing with at home. Mama, can I lovingly tell you something? Those?

additional or special needs. I think we've created this idea in our minds that special needs quote-unquote means something really severe or permanent but that's not always the case. In the school world where I have come from if your child has an IEP for anything whether it's speech therapy, occupational therapy, behavior support, academic accommodations, they are receiving special education. That's the definition. They are having some additional or special needs. But here's what I want you to understand.

Special needs exist on a spectrum. They can ebb and flow throughout your child's life. Your child might need extra support in preschool, but thrive independently in elementary school. Or maybe they'll need accommodations in middle school that they didn't need before. This isn't a permanent label or a life sentence. It's simply recognizing that your child has unique needs that require additional attention and support right now. And here's why this matters. When we can acknowledge and embrace our child's needs without shame,

we can get them the help that they deserve. You stop waiting for them to grow out of it and start meeting them where they are.

This is exactly why I interview such a wide range of guests on the podcast and why the topics we discuss are really designed to support any struggling mama. Whether you're dealing with picky eating, anxiety, learning differences, autism, or anything in between, you're part of this community, your struggles are valid, and you deserve support. All right, now that we've established what special needs means in my context, let's talk about trusting your instincts.

I want to start with this truth from Proverbs 3 verse 5 through 6.

Wait and see more times than you can count. Maybe it was from the pediatrician or your mother-in-law or even well-meaning friends. But here's what I want you to know. Waiting is not always the right answer. The brain is the most changeable between birth and five years old. This means early intervention during these critical years can make the biggest difference. Every month we wait could be a missed opportunity. So what should you be looking for if you're the mom of a little?

for babies under 12 months old, limited eye contact, not responding to their name, unusual reactions to sounds or textures, or significant feeding difficulties. And I think it's really important too to remember that if you wanted to nurse and breastfeed your child but you weren't able to and you were told things like, well, you know, your baby just didn't want to do that or your nipples just weren't the right kind for it.

for breastfeeding. I'm gonna tell you right now, or if you're in the midst of this, that is baloney. And that is one of the first ways that I think that moms are kind of dismissed when we are in that postpartum phase and we have concerns about what's going on and we know what our body should do and we know what our baby should be able to do. And very often times they are just given a bottle, given some formula when that is not what you want. So.

We'll be having some more episodes on that, I'm sure, as we go through. But that would be my first and foremost is if you are a brand new mama and you're having a hard time with nursing, do not be afraid to continue to reach out and find a provider who is actually willing to help you. Once they get a little bit older, we're thinking about toddlers from 12 to 24 months. Things that you need to start looking for, like are they making gestures? Do they wave? Do they point? They should be using single words.

at least by 15 months if not sooner than that. If they're losing skills that they once had or have repetitive behaviors like hand flapping or rocking, those are some things to look out for as well. Once we hit this preschool years,

start thinking about things like extreme difficulty with changes in routines, meltdowns that seem bigger than the situation. This can be tricky because meltdowns are very normal, but start by maybe talking to some other parents and seeing what they're experiencing and looking at if your child is in daycare or in preschool, are these things happening there and do the teachers or the other people that are with your children seem to think that this is something that might be a concern?

Trust me, mama, if something feels off, is worth investigating. Your instincts matter.

As I'm talking through this, I go back to when I had concerns about my son and I was dismissed when he was born. I was dismissed while he was little. I was dismissed when he was 18 months old and really had to take things into my own hands. And I am so passionate now about encouraging moms not to be, you know, we don't have to go off the deep end, right? We're not going to be rude or, you know,

be unrealistic with things, but continue to ask questions. If something doesn't feel right, if the answer that you're getting with the provider or the experience that you're having, whether it be in therapy or with a doctor, if it doesn't feel right, again, I truly believe that God is putting something in your heart to encourage you to keep asking questions in order to do what is best for that kiddo.

I believe in many states, I know in the state that I'm in there are birth to three services and then once a child turns three, the responsibility of providing any services if deemed necessary falls on the school district. It's really important to understand that educational eligibility and medical need are two completely different things.

Schools look at whether challenges impact academics, while medical professionals look at overall development. The other thing to think about too...

is the environment in which your child is being evaluated. I just left the early childhood setting and it was very difficult at times to be able to get good information and good qualifying information when we were seeing kiddos in the home because that was their most comfortable situation. We weren't seeing them out in the community. We weren't seeing them in the classroom. And then oftentimes what would happen is then they would go into those classrooms or into those other settings

and have a really hard time. And there's definitely some limitations on school eligibility.

One of the things that really has broken my heart is

hearing from so many moms who were told that their child didn't qualify for school services, so they think their child must be fine. But remember what we talked about. Special needs exist on a spectrum. Maybe you have a really smart child who's doing well academically but has sensory processing differences that make everyday life challenging. Or perhaps your child has mild autism traits but is keeping up in school. Maybe your little one is anxious and holding it together at school but falling apart at home. These kids might not qualify for

special education services, but they have needs that deserve attention and support. Remember, you have the right to request an evaluation even if teachers say your child is fine. You can seek private evaluations, you can pursue medical evaluations, regardless of what the school says, you are your child's voice. So where do we start?

You feel as though your child has some sort of additional needs, you're not satisfied with the answers that you've been getting so far. You need to start to build a team of professionals who will listen to your concerns and take them seriously. This might include a developmental pediatrician, a speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, or a mental health professional. Do not be afraid to ask for referrals and seek out specialists. Here's some questions that will help you get the information that you need.

What specific concerns do you see? Don't let anyone dismiss you with vague answers. What would you recommend for next steps? Push for concrete action plans. If this were your child, what would you do? This often gets the most honest answers. Can you refer me to someone who specializes in this area? Don't take no for an answer if you need a referral. The other thing that is super important to remember is that

Again, I don't know what it's like in other states, but in Wisconsin, school personnel, if a child qualifies for services, cannot legally refer out to another person. Even though we all know that the schools can only do so much. So you really have to ask questions like, what would you do? Are there other specialists that you would consider looking at or having, you know, look at my child if this were your child?

Oftentimes those types of questions will provide a little bit of a loophole for whomever you're speaking with because they're not making a referral then directly to you but still able to maybe get their opinion across and provide you with some needed information. Don't forget to watch out for red flags from professionals too though. Be wary of anyone who dismisses your concerns without doing an evaluation, uses phrases like, boys will develop slower without actually assessing your child or

on the opposite end of it says your child qualifies and wants you to do all of the services without thoroughly evaluating your child. Remember, you're not being too difficult by advocating for your kiddo. You are being a good mom.

While you're navigating evaluations and building your team, are things you can start doing at home right now to support your child naturally. First, let's look at nutrition. The gut-brain connection is real and what our children eat directly impacts how they feel and function. If you can focus on nutrient-dense anti-inflammatory foods and consider removing processed foods and artificial additives. I recommend to every single one of my clients,

that their kiddos are not consuming any artificial dyes, artificial flavors, and decreased processed foods if possible. Second, reduce your family's toxic load. So for example, simple swaps like using natural cleaning products with essential oils, filtering your water and choosing organic when possible can really make a big difference. Third, implement some strategies within the home. Visual schedules, creating a calm down corner.

maybe using a weighted blanket or providing fidget tools throughout the day are all different things that you can do to help support your kiddo at home. Finally, let's focus on whole family wellness. When mama is regulated and thriving, it impacts the entire family. Practice co-regulation techniques where you stay calm to help your child find calm too. Create predictable routines, use those visual schedules to help your child know what to expect.

All of these strategies will benefit all children, whether they have a diagnosed need or not.

Whether you're just starting to have concerns, drowning in conflicting information, preparing for meetings with school teams, or looking for natural alternatives to traditional therapies, you don't have to figure this out alone. In my whole family wellness coaching program, we focus on some key areas. Root cause investigation, looking beyond symptoms to understand what might be underlying your child's challenges.

Natural support implementation, I can help you create practical strategies you can use at home to support your child's development and regulation and family system optimization. We work together to create rhythms and routines that support everyone's success, not just your child with additional needs. The goal isn't perfection, mama. It is progress and peace in the journey God has given you.

As we wrap up today, I want to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures. know I use this one a lot, but it's a good one. Proverbs 31 25. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. That is you, mama. You are clothed with strength for this journey. If you're feeling that stirring in your heart about your child, here are your action steps. First, document what you're seeing. Keep a simple journal of behaviors and concerns.

Second, trust your instincts. If something feels off, pursue it. Third, build your team.

Start with those closest to you, but don't stop there if you need more support. Fourth, focus on what you can control today. Nutrition, environment, and family rhythms. Remember Jeremiah 29 verse 11, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. Your child's journey is not a mistake. God has equipped you to be exactly the mama your child needs.

If you're ready for support and want to move forward from overwhelm to confidence, I'd love to chat with you about Whole Family Wellness Coaching. You can find the link to schedule a discovery call in the show notes. Until next time, keep speaking life into your motherhood journey. You've got this, mama.