13 Sensory Processing Disorder, Dyslexia, Communication Delays, & Hope: Faith-Based Special Needs Advocacy & Parenting

Have you ever felt alone in your journey parenting a child with special needs?

Do you struggle with balancing advocacy for your child while maintaining your faith?

What if the challenges your family faces are actually opportunities for God to reveal His power?

Episode Highlights

• Rachael Jenneman shares her unique perspective as both a sibling to someone with severe autism and a parent of children with various learning and processing needs
• The difference between grief as a sibling versus as a parent of someone with special needs
• Navigating the frustrating middle ground when your children have needs but don't qualify for services
• Practical strategies Rachael implemented as a children's pastor to accommodate different learning styles
• The importance of parent-teacher communication and collaboration
• Rachael's powerful testimony about finding strength in dependence on God
• The transformative moment when Rachael went from "loving" to being "in love with" her son
• Finding purpose in our challenges through John 9 - our uniqueness exists so God's power can be shown

Connect with Rachael Jenneman

• Facebook, Instagram, TikTok: @RachaelJenneman
• Website: RachaelJenneman.com
• Radio show: "Unique on Purpose"

While you're here, please leave a quick rating or review! I pray this episode blesses you! Remember, you don't just have to survive mama- you can thrive!

Connect with the host: Elyse Scheeler

• Subscribe: Speaking Life Into Motherhood
• Website: www.speakinglife.co/motherhood
• Email: hello@speakinglife.co
• Facebook Group: Speaking Life Into Motherhood
• Email Newsletter: https://speakinglife.co/subscribe/
• Essential Oils: my.doterra.com/speakinglife

Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the guests and hosts and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Speaking Life Into Motherhood. None of the advice or discussion on the podcast is medical advice. Always consult with your medical provider before using any supplements, essential oils, or therapy methods.

Transcript

Elyse Scheeler (00:01.342)
Welcome back everyone! Today I have Rachel Jenneman with us. Rachel is a former staff pastor turned radio broadcaster, author and communicator. She gave her life to Jesus at the age of 16 and has never looked back. She's the wife to David, mom of three, tea drinker, history nerd and a wannabe drummer. Rachel and her family reside in the cherry capital of the world, Traverse City, Michigan. When not traveling and preaching, she works at a local Christian radio station producing her radio show, Unique

on purpose. Welcome Rachel today. I'm so glad to have you. I would love to just hear a little bit more about yourself and kind of what brought you to this place. Like it just sounds like you have really been doing a lot in the name of Jesus and I'm just so impressed and excited to talk to you today.

Rachael Jenneman (00:46.754)
Well, thank you. really appreciate the opportunity and any chance I get to talk about what it's like to be a sibling of a special needs person or what it's like to have children, maybe not necessarily have special needs or that are special needs, but have special needs. I love being able just to talk about it because I know that there are a lot of moms and siblings that are in the same boat and they can all use somebody to come alongside of them and just.

you know, share their experiences. So I really appreciate the opportunity. But yes, my name is Rachel and I am a former pastor turn radio broadcaster in Traverse City, Michigan. And because I'm from Michigan, I have to do the hand thing. Anybody that you meet for Michigan does the hand, they bring it up. So I'm in the lower peninsula, but I'm near the pinky right there on the bay. Yes, we love our cherries. We have a cherry festival like worry. We are just everything cherry here. And I grew up here most of my life.

And when I was about 16, I was introduced to church. I was not raised in the church. Somebody had invited me to church and I was like, I'm a teenager. Why would I want to go to church on a Sunday when I could be sleeping in? But then it was brought to my attention that cute boys go to church. And I realized, well then that's where I need to be.

If I can't get a boyfriend at school, then obviously I need to go to church and I need to seek that out. And I had never seen worship before. It was just such a different experience. And there were two sisters whom one I had a class with the year prior and the other one I sat with at lunch. And I knew they were Christian, but I didn't know like they were this kind of Christian. Like this is really weird. And this is summer.

Elyse Scheeler (02:06.932)
Whatever gets you there, say, whatever gets you there.

Rachael Jenneman (02:33.164)
and I go home, I dig through my yearbook back when everything was landlines and you wrote your phone number and people's yearbooks. And so I went through and I found their phone number on Monday morning and I called and I said, what the heck was that? I didn't understand. And I mean, I was every Christian's dream because I am curious and I am asking all the questions and I'm freaking this one sister out because I know nothing about Jesus and she's freaking me out because she knows everything. How do you know all this stuff? We never had Jesus 101 in high school. Like, what are we talking about here?

Elyse Scheeler (02:38.653)
yeah, yeah, that's me too.

Rachael Jenneman (03:03.646)
And they invited me to youth group and for the first time, as I'm listening to the message, I mean, I had no idea what they were talking about. But I just remember thinking, I don't know where I'm going. I just assumed I was going to heaven because I'm a good person. Not understanding what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. And then the next Sunday I came back. And if anybody has ever heard of Teen Challenge,

It's a ministry that deals with people that are drug addicts addicted to alcohol and it helps them get set free. And they were there doing a presentation. And at the very end, the guest speaker asked, would anybody like to accept Jesus in their heart? Well, I thought it was a hypothetical question. I was like, well, who wouldn't? Well, I looked around and nobody else was raising their hand. I didn't realize they were genuinely asking a question and wanting people to answer.

And I quickly put my hand down, but it was too late. Pastor saw me, called me up front. I said some prayer. I got saved by accident. Like that's just what I tell people. Obviously it is not an accident, but from that point on, I knew my life was different because now I knew the truth. And it took a while for me to, I mean, I was head first. I knew that this was the new life because again, I knew the truth.

And it was as if I had this automatic fear of the Lord that I never had before. And I knew that I didn't want to lose what I had gained and I couldn't ignore what I had gained. And so though it took me a long time to really dig in and be proud of, yes, I'm a Christian and I follow Jesus. I really sought the Lord with all of my heart. I kind of kept it in for a little bit, but over time and at 19, I felt a call to ministry.

And then I met a cute boy at church and I married him. So it worked out.

Elyse Scheeler (04:59.978)
That's amazing how all of that comes together. I love that story because I grew up in the church and had that foundation. And so I do think that it is harder for those who are coming in, but I love that Jesus drew you in. He knew what you needed and he drew you in at that time. you mentioned your brother. So I know that we had chatted prior that he has autism. so growing up with that, how did that...

Rachael Jenneman (05:21.229)
Yes.

Rachael Jenneman (05:26.317)
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Scheeler (05:29.18)
impact you growing up without necessarily being a Christian, but also then afterwards? How did that impact your journey looking at him maybe through the eyes of God or understanding some of those challenges and moving forward from that?

Rachael Jenneman (05:43.746)
You know, that's a really good question because it's something that I've never thought of before. How is having him in my life, how do I combine that with my relationship with Jesus and how do I seek God and all of that? Because really when you didn't grow up in the church, you're not seeing God in any of it, for one. And my...

experience with having, and I say severe because it just seems like we have an influx of autism, but most of the autistic people that we are seeing are highly functioning. My brother is not highly functioning. He lives in an adult foster care home. He is nonverbal. He will never get married. He will never have children. And he kind of lives in a small space in his own little world. And when you're with him for just like two seconds, you know that there is something that is not right. And growing up because

Elyse Scheeler (06:11.476)
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Scheeler (06:15.146)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (06:35.542)
In the 90s, autism was not an everyday word that it is today. It is something that is said in every single household. We hear it all over the place. We see autism awareness. I'm not sure who's not aware anymore. I mean, it's everywhere. But back in the 90s, it wasn't. And I was often asked, what's wrong with your brother? And I had to explain autism. he's artistic? Like he does art? No, no, no, he's autistic.

Elyse Scheeler (06:39.656)
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Elyse Scheeler (06:47.594)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (07:01.494)
And having to, and that was really difficult for a young girl to have to explain what exactly autism is. That no, it's not retardation, it's not Down syndrome, that it is something completely different. But I have a different experience as a sibling than I do as a parent. Because when you're a parent and you have a child that is diagnosed with autism, suddenly all of your dreams and your hopes, your expectations for your child are wiped away and they're gone. And you have to go through a grieving process.

and navigate, okay, now what am I going to need to do for my child to make sure they can just even function in this world? But as a sibling, it's all I've ever known. I didn't have to go through that. It's like when you're born with maybe a missing arm or a missing leg. You don't know what it's like to have two legs. You don't know what it's like to have, it's just what you've always known. And so it's the same with me having a special needs brother. It's just all that I've ever known.

And then when I came to Christ, I would hear people talk about how God heals and I would read through the scriptures that Jesus would lay hands on the sick and he would heal. And I'm thinking, okay, well then obviously he's going to heal my brother if I just pray. And I began to pray over him and I would lay hands on him at night and I would pray, but he never was healed. And that did not discourage me. I just said, okay, well, I guess he's not meant to be healed.

And if I want to look at it and say, how did it shape my relationship with the Lord? I guess I would say that it made me thankful because I have an experience that a lot of other people don't. And I'm not saying that in a way that, I'm better than other people. That's not what I'm saying. just, everybody has their own unique experiences and I have a unique experience and I am able to see people in a different way.

because of my brother, I'm able to have compassion in areas that maybe someone else might not be able to have compassion in. I might have patience. I'm not a very patient or compassionate person, but I have compassion and patience in other areas that others might not because of my experience with him. I don't, and maybe because I'm a sibling versus a parent, I don't look at him necessarily and go, God, why did you do this to us?

Elyse Scheeler (09:10.602)
Yeah

Rachael Jenneman (09:29.824)
I look at him and go, wow, God, look at what you taught me and look at how I can use that in the future helping other people.

Elyse Scheeler (09:37.502)
Yeah, I love that. I think that that's something that, as a parent, moms and dads can get through that and can also get to that point. But like you said, there is that period of grief. There's that period of, there's always questioning. I talk about it on the podcast a lot. Both of my kids have some speech and language and my functional needs.

Rachael Jenneman (09:52.173)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (09:57.786)
Thank

Elyse Scheeler (10:01.864)
Definitely not to the extent, probably like you're saying too, where like it's not really quite enough, right? Like we're in that like middle zone. And so I always have a lot of imposter syndrome with the other stuff, but I still have so many regrets. There are so many things where I'm like, I knew when my son was born that X, Y, and Z should have been taken care of and I didn't push hard enough. it took, know, bigger issues happening for him then, you know, to be two and have surgery and all of these other things. But I think that...

Rachael Jenneman (10:13.518)
Mmm.

Rachael Jenneman (10:20.238)
Okay.

Elyse Scheeler (10:31.038)
Hopefully, if we can find and pray on it and see that God will, whatever those things are, it's not necessarily that God did any of those things or we still made choices, and that was what it is, but he will use those choices, even if we made the wrong choice at the time, and he will help us grow and he will help us be able to use that for his glory. So tell me a little bit about your kiddos. How has...

Rachael Jenneman (10:42.958)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (10:48.259)
Right.

Elyse Scheeler (10:57.97)
your experience. know when we were chatting before you were kind of saying that they have some needs but there's been some challenges even within that for them to be able to get some services.

Rachael Jenneman (11:05.294)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (11:08.812)
Right, so I have three kids, all of whom have had IEPs, 504 plans, and I've had to call ISD and I've had to have all the evaluations and go through all the therapies. the way, the best way I can explain it is that my kids are not special needs, but they do have some special needs that we need to address. So for instance, my daughter, when she was about three, I mean, for a couple years, she would just have these huge milk.

I mean ridiculous meltdowns. We'd be in the middle of Target and all of a sudden just at the drop of a hat she would just wig out. If I asked her to do something simple she would wig out. And if you looked at it on the outside you would as a person go, she just doesn't discipline her child. And that wasn't it. She was getting very much discipline and also a lot of love but could not figure out what was going on. It was so bad that we'd put her in her bedroom.

to go to bed at night and she would run from one end of her bedroom to the other and body slam up against her door for about a good half an hour. She would have bruises all over her face from banging her head on the hardwood floors. And I couldn't figure out what was going on. She was talking, she had a large vocabulary, but she wasn't speaking in conversation.

And finally, I had her tested, but I was really scared because I have a severely autistic brother. And, ashamedly, I have prayed more over my children that they would not be autistic than I have for their salvation. And it's because I grew up that way. I didn't want to do it again. I said I did my time.

I don't want to do this again. And that could sound incredibly selfish and that's fine. You can look at me that way. But that was just the reality. We had her tested and these, you know, she had to sit with all the is, the therapists, the speech therapists and the physical therapists, social workers and the speech therapists. We all sat down and the speech therapist said to me, well, she's not autistic. She just needs speech therapy. And I went, that's it.

Elyse Scheeler (12:54.014)
Yeah.

Rachael Jenneman (13:22.19)
That's what the problem is, is speech therapy. There were things that were not connecting in her brain properly. And they enrolled her in a preschool and it was completely free, because I was like, well, I can't afford this. They say, it's paid free by your tax dollars. She went to preschool for two years where she received speech therapy, physical therapy, or not physical therapy, occupational therapy, every day while she was there. She just went for a half a day. And we noticed...

that she would have an explosion every day and it went down to once a week, to once a month, to nothing. was that speech therapy, it was as if a light bulb went on and she could communicate. But what was happening was things were not connecting in her brain and she was not able to voice out her feelings. And that was what was causing those meltdowns. But when it's your first born, you have no idea what's going on.

And everything you, well, no matter what special need your child has, no matter what their birth order, you blame yourself. I still blame myself all the time. That's, just think a natural human thing that we do. My second born, he just struggles with comprehension. He's not autistic. He does not have ADHD. He just, the comprehension, and I'm not sure where we go from here. We're doing what we can. We're doing the advice that everybody has given us, but your comprehension affects everything.

It affects your reading, it affects your interactions with people. He's a total extrovert, loves to be around people and loves having friends, but there is that social awkwardness because of his comprehension. It affects you being able to understand sarcasm. It affects the way you do your homework, everything. when we had him evaluated,

Elyse Scheeler (14:48.426)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (15:14.604)
Yes, I was thankful that no, he doesn't have autism, he doesn't have ADHD. However, it was all these resources that now I had to do on my own. There's no help for comprehension. There's no help for that. And then my youngest son, that was probably the hardest because there was a lot of...

A lot more advocating on my part than what I had done in the past. Yes, I've had to advocate for my other two, but I've had to advocate more for my youngest than most.

And the school took it as, he's just too young, he needs to be held back. And thankfully I had a friend who is a teacher and she just, she's really anointed in recognizing certain things about children. And she says, Rachel, he doesn't need to be held back, he needs help. She says, I can't figure out what's wrong, but there's something that's not right. I would take him to the doctor and get tested. Took him to the doctor, no autism, no ADHD.

Well then, but there was something, but we couldn't figure out what. Well then she came across an article called Sensory Processing Disorder, emailed it to me. And it was, mean, all the boxes, check, check, check. Every symptom was what he had. And honestly, I felt ashamed because I thought, here I am a children's pastor. I should know what Sensory Processing Disorder is. I've never heard of it. I prided myself in knowing.

about autism and about ADHD and about kids that had been adopted through foster care because there's a lot of special needs that come from that. And so I prided myself in knowing how to help those kids, but yet I didn't, I couldn't even recognize something in my own son, nor did I know what that was. And I just did as much research as possible. I called ISD in and I had him, he evaluated in the classroom.

Rachael Jenneman (17:14.37)
And what was frustrating about the sensory processing disorder is there isn't help for that either. He was thankfully, he was able to get speech therapy and physical therapy. But the one thing that a sensory processing child needs is occupational therapy. And he did not qualify for OT because he did not have autism or ADHD.

That was the only way I was going to be able to get him funded help. So that's something that we had to outsource on our own, taking him back to the doctor, getting him an official diagnosis from a doctor, and then getting occupational therapy on our own time, which someone would look at me and say, well, that's your job as a parent. And you're right, it is, 100%. I get that. But it is frustrating to know that I can't get help from professionals because my kids aren't severe enough.

And that has been one of the hardest pieces. And don't get me wrong. I'm glad that my children don't necessarily have a diagnosis. However, it would make it easier almost if they did. So it's like this Catch 22, right? Yeah, it would be easier if they had this label, but at the same time, you don't want them to have that label. And because they don't, now you have to do everything yourself. You have to do all the research yourself. You have to...

Elyse Scheeler (18:31.018)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (18:43.31)
Make sure that everything is taken care of you have to make sure that you are in complete communication with with teachers with coaches with whomever is in contact with your child and say okay This is my kid and this is how you need to interact with them or here's all the supplies. So That was kindergarten with him I pulled him in first grade because it was just obvious that this was also new to the school

This was not something that they had dealt with on a regular basis. And I just said, forget it, first grade, I'm pulling it back. I'm going to homeschool and do it myself. Which I'm glad I did because in the process I discovered he also has dyslexia and dysgraphia. But I sent him back in second grade because I knew the second grade teacher taught differently. The first grade teacher, I'm not saying she wouldn't have done anything great with my son. I just didn't know her. My other kids didn't have her. I didn't know her.

but my other son had had this second grade teacher and she is phenomenal. And it was great to meet with her a week or two prior before school started and just hand her a box and say, this is my son. This is what sensory processing disorder is. This is how we handle it and this is how I can help you. And I know that in our culture right now there is a huge rub between teachers and parents.

but I've always tried to be that parent that says, want to help you succeed with my child. I don't want you to think that it's me against you. So I've done everything I can, whether it is supplying specific snacks or supplying specific sensory things for the classroom, whatever it is that you need from me, I'm going to give you because I want to help you. So to go, that's a long answer to your question. So to go back.

Elyse Scheeler (20:10.804)
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Scheeler (20:32.828)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (20:34.752)
Yes, it has been difficult to necessarily not have a severe diagnosis because you have to do a lot more research and there's a lot of resources that aren't available for you. So I hope that answers your question.

Elyse Scheeler (20:49.642)
Absolutely. Yes, and I'm going to unpack a couple of things. So I'm a speech language pathologist in the schools, and then I also do private practice. I just want to, as I'm like listening to you, just for our listeners, this is already like my light bulb, like we are going to do an episode on private practice, private therapy services versus school therapy services. So we can kind of explain this. So my first thing is, is there's definitely interventions for comprehension. Again, maybe not.

Rachael Jenneman (21:16.492)
Really? Okay.

Elyse Scheeler (21:17.532)
maybe not necessarily in the school setting. I don't know what the laws are. So I'm in Wisconsin. The laws are very strict, you know, with how qualifications go. But at the end of the day, and I've been saying this and I know it like hurts me to say this, but the way that the laws are with inclusion and taking kids out is we literally as providers must provide the minimum possible. We cannot do anymore.

Rachael Jenneman (21:24.3)
Yeah, state states is different. Yeah.

Rachael Jenneman (21:43.79)
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Scheeler (21:46.472)
Right? So if you don't qualify under all of these parameters, we can't provide those services, which is very limiting for us. So understanding that even if there, I love that what you said was like, even if there isn't that qualification in the schools, that doesn't mean that there's not a delay. That doesn't mean that there's not something that still needs to be addressed that can be addressed more from that medical private. And we can definitely chat more afterwards with some of the things like there is speech therapy.

that focuses on comprehension, executive functioning skills to address.

Rachael Jenneman (22:16.834)
Hmm. yeah, that was a word I had to learn and I really had to dig in. That was a whole new experience.

Elyse Scheeler (22:27.498)
Yeah, and I think again, like there's just a lot and we can only do, and I know it because as the, you know, I'm on my way out of the schools, right? I'm moving into my private practice, but I have been in those meetings where I'm like, listen, they don't qualify here, but just because they don't qualify here doesn't mean that there's not something going on. I have to abide by these very strict measures. And if, you know, even if I see that there's a need, if it doesn't directly correlate with what the law says and with those school parameters,

Rachael Jenneman (22:35.086)
Mmm.

Elyse Scheeler (22:55.474)
I can't provide services. So I think that there's a lot of frustration, like hearing you talk about that, know that that frustration, and people who are listening who have kids in the public schools know that frustration. Like, why can't they get more? Why can't they get more? Well, we got to change the laws. There's a lot to that. But I love that you then were like, OK, what else can we do? Because I think a lot of times parents just hear, nope, they don't qualify, and they go, OK, well, I guess it's fine, and move on from that. But instead,

Rachael Jenneman (22:56.942)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (23:22.402)
Mmm.

Elyse Scheeler (23:25.254)
you maybe, know, God, if that was, you know, God was putting something in your heart or whatever it was to like continue pushing on those. And, and the last piece I appreciate so much as a school provider, and as a, I mean, private practice to it, it's a little bit different. Like we appreciate those parents who have good communication, right? Every single teacher wants to do the best that they can for those kids. They want to have a well-run classroom. And so when you come in as a parent with essentially like a nice little guideline, right? It's never a perfect thing, but to,

to help those teachers, help whoever the support staff is in that room, to be able to support your child, everyone is gonna be more successful. So I applaud you for that and don't feel bad. I think that we want good, positive, constructive communication. What happens is when there's challenges at the school level and then we talk to parents and they say, well, you figure it out or it's your fault. That's when we have those, like you said, that cultural, and I think that there's a lot of that, which is really hard.

Rachael Jenneman (24:09.23)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (24:15.47)
Mmm.

Rachael Jenneman (24:20.45)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Elyse Scheeler (24:21.566)
you know, for everyone involved. I just appreciate so much that you are, you know, very cognizant of that and thinking about like the whole picture, not, your child and their team. so from the, know, I don't know your, you know, your staff at your public school, but I'm thanking, thanking you for them.

Rachael Jenneman (24:37.134)
Thank you.

Elyse Scheeler (24:40.062)
So that kind of goes along with my next question. So we talk about kiddos who maybe have some additional needs in the schools, but then what about when we want them to be involved in our churches, in our church communities? You said that you've been a children's pastor in the past. How have you been able to use those experiences with your own kiddos and your brother to maybe make sure that those environments within your church community are able to help support kids with different needs?

Rachael Jenneman (25:07.106)
Well, I was very fortunate because I went to a church that had a lot of kids that were adopted. And if you know anything about adoption and in your line of work, I'm sure you do. There is a lot of special needs that come with children who are adopted. Maybe not sometimes, not all the time with those that maybe have been adopted at birth, but if they were adopted at five, six, seven, they are considered special needs.

and there's different things that you have to come alongside and help them with. So I was fortunate enough to walk into, I was the first children's pastor they ever had. However, I was able to walk into an environment that says, okay, a lot of our parents get this and a lot of them understand. So how can now we help them even further? And then of course you have children that have ADHD.

We had maybe a couple with some autism, but it was very high functioning that you really wouldn't have known. I had a child with cerebral palsy and he had some heart conditions. And really it's about having that communication, one, with the parents. And second, I was your different type of children's pastor. Most children's pastors, they preach to the kids every Sunday. I did not do that.

It's going to sound weird coming from a children's pastor, but I was not great with kids, but I knew God had called me to this position. So I said, okay, Lord, I don't like kids. I am not good with them. You're going to have to do something in my heart. But the positive of that was I began instead of working like a teacher, as some children's pastors do, I began working more like a principal where, yes, I did teach one Sunday a month.

Elyse Scheeler (26:41.194)
Bye!

Rachael Jenneman (26:58.466)
but the rest of the time I delegated to others that could come in and teach those that loved children, that just saw the need for children's ministry and just were anointed in those areas. And I acted as a principal where if my Sundays are now freed up because I have great people in place that can teach our kids, I can now spend my time doing research on different learning styles and different things that kids need and what is happening in our culture that is causing

all these different needs to be coming about because a lot of needs are environmental. They're not just things that maybe necessarily we're born with, but the environment that we are placed in. It gave me that opportunity. So then I was able to transform my environment a little bit where I was able to have more sensory, I had a sensory needs box that was in our check-in desk that if I knew there was a kid that just needed

Elyse Scheeler (27:33.652)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (27:57.526)
I hated fidget spinners. were not, that was like at the age where fidget spinners were at their height. And I just said, I am not doing that ever. We'll find something else. But I had squishy balls and I had like different objects that they could manipulate that they could have. if they needed something that was textile, I had rubber bands around their chairs. So if I don't have ADHD or sensory problems or anything,

Elyse Scheeler (28:00.138)
Yeah.

Elyse Scheeler (28:05.418)
We'll find something else, yeah.

Rachael Jenneman (28:25.528)
but I am constantly shaking my legs, how helpful would it have been to have a rubber band around my chair growing up that I could put compression on that would help me regulate? And so we we, we've vamped our room to do a lot of those different things. Also, if we knew that a child had a certain need, we would make sure that they were the ones helping. So for example, when my son is in school,

My son is, my youngest is 11, almost 12 now. So through all of his occupational therapy and everything, he knows how to regulate his body. He does very well. Like nobody would know that he has sensory problems and he does great. But in the past, what I would tell his teachers is if you see that he's getting too hyped up, give him the box of library books to take back down to the library. Like he needs to carry something heavy or...

I would just give them tips on what they can do for him. And that was some of the things that we had to bring into our environment as well. Also, any children's pastor knows you can't just sit for 30 minutes or make those kids sit for 30 minutes. And communicating with your team, who a lot of times are older and are retirees and are expecting kids to just sit and listen, it doesn't work that way.

Elyse Scheeler (29:32.424)
No, ever.

Rachael Jenneman (29:47.114)
It didn't work that way when you were a kid, at least it shouldn't have, and it doesn't work that way now. We have to implement games that resonate with the message to bring the message home. You have to do opportunities for them to be able to stand, to maybe do a cartwheel or whatever. There's different things that you can implement in your environment that could help these kids. Now,

Elyse Scheeler (29:52.34)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (30:13.226)
My goal was always to have an actual special needs ministry. Unfortunately, I was never able to put that into practice. But for a church that is seeking to have a special needs ministry, it's, it's, this is hard to say. It's going to require what every church is lacking, and that is people and funds. You need the people that are passionate in that area.

that have knowledge in that area probably degrees, but you're also going to need to pay them. You're not going to be able to bring in volunteers to work with your special needs kids that have all the knowledge in the world to make sure that they're kept safe. It's going to take hiring somebody.

Elyse Scheeler (31:03.378)
Yeah, I think that that's a challenge. do at our at my church, we do have a special needs ministry. We had multiple campuses and I created the special needs ministry at the one campus which has now been closed and we're at a big campus now. And we do have that but that was years and you know what it was was one of our co pastors his son had autism. And so he took

Rachael Jenneman (31:17.603)
Mm.

Rachael Jenneman (31:24.75)
Mmm.

Elyse Scheeler (31:26.44)
the lead on that and help facilitating that. And now luckily, you after all of the years, there's a really good system in place. And so we have that. But I know especially we have, it's a pretty large church. So like, if you have a smaller church like that, it's going to be very challenging. But I think that just like you said, putting in some of those, all it takes is somebody being willing to open their mind, to learn some new information and get some ideas, because it's not that long, right? I mean, I've been in classrooms with kids with a

Rachael Jenneman (31:39.128)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (31:49.954)
Right.

Elyse Scheeler (31:52.766)
huge variety of needs. I've run the classrooms, I've been, you know, supporting those classrooms and like a 30-minute period if you can put some of those things in place you can still engage them in whatever the teaching is and you know learning about Jesus and building those relationships with their peers, you know, who are also, you know, learning about Jesus while also supporting their needs and I think that that's so amazing that you were able to do that.

despite maybe some of those other challenges. As we wrap up here, I'm just wondering, how has your faith grown or changed as you have made your way through this process of supporting your kiddos through all of their challenges and with your history? Have you become closer to Jesus or how has that faith been impacted?

Rachael Jenneman (32:39.084)
That is a loaded question that I'm going to try not to cry on. Growing up, excuse me, growing up with a severely autistic brother, I do not see myself as this martyr or anything like that. But what happens is you become hyper independent. People become hyper independent in two ways. One, they're hurt by someone that they loved incredibly that was maybe supposed to take care of them or supposed to be with them and they were betrayed. Or two, you were

Elyse Scheeler (32:40.479)
Yeah.

Rachael Jenneman (33:08.486)
life circumstances put you in a place where you had to become independent. And that was me. My life structure forced me to be independent. And I did a lot of taking, yes, okay, I had parents, but as the sibling and as the firstborn, I took care of my brother a lot. So there's this sense of independence that I have that maybe others don't. Coming to Christ,

That was probably one, not was, is, that is one of the hardest areas that I have had to work through. wait till you're married to have sex? Sure, no problem. Hey, stop lying because you should be truthful. Sure, no problem. Like a lot of these things that are preached on, I did not have a problem changing about my life. But dependence on God? Yeah, I don't think so. Like I have had to take care of somebody, mother him my whole life.

Elyse Scheeler (33:55.986)
Mm-hmm.

Elyse Scheeler (33:59.582)
Yeah

Rachael Jenneman (34:06.604)
I know what I'm doing. I can do things on my own. So through this process of now I have children that I have to work, I'm not saying that other parents with maybe neurotypical children don't have to work hard, that's not what I'm saying. I just have to work hard in different areas. It's just different for me.

Elyse Scheeler (34:22.826)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (34:26.998)
And unless, and you know because you've been there, unless you're sitting on my side of the IEP table, of the 504 Plan table, you have no idea what it's like. Again, I don't see myself as a martyr, but when you have all the is's come in and the administration and the teachers and they're sitting there telling you everything that is wrong about your child, sure they give you the positive, but you can't see the positive. All you see is the negative.

And all you think as a parent is, what have I done wrong? I screwed up my own child and I can't figure out what I did. So now I have to lean on God and I could not have done anything wrong. mean, I've had social workers tell me, Rachel, you didn't do anything wrong. Like kids are just different. Well, thank you. But it takes a long time to, I think, get to that place.

Elyse Scheeler (35:15.485)
You

Elyse Scheeler (35:19.326)
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Rachael Jenneman (35:21.708)
And I remember after, because IEP meetings are just, they're just wretched for a parent. And I remember leaving an IEP meeting and sitting in my car in the school parking lot, just bawling my eyes out, snot everywhere, just that type of ugly cry. And I remember, I just was so angry with God and I'm yelling at him because God's God and he can handle that. He's totally fine with it. And I just felt...

Elyse Scheeler (35:28.444)
I know.

Rachael Jenneman (35:50.89)
as though the Lord wanted me to thank him. Because in Thessalonians it says that we are to thank God in all circumstances. We don't necessarily have to thank him for those circumstances, but we are to thank him in those circumstances. And I was so angry and I'm yelling at the Lord and I'm just like, thank you Lord. I don't know why I'm thanking you, but I'm thanking you. And at that moment, and this was for my youngest son, I began to fall in love with him. I loved my son because he was my son.

But I wasn't in love with my son because of all the garbage and everything that was so hard, everything that we had to do. I loved him because he was mine, but I wasn't in love with him. But at that moment, thanking God, I fell in love with my son.

And I was now advocating for him because I was in love with him, not because you're a parent and that's just what you have to do.

And then of course, the Lord has showed me.

through people's uniqueness, whether it is intentional, whether it's by mistake, whether it's because we live in a fallen world, that God can use it. And I live my life by John chapter nine. And that is the disciples brought the blind man to Jesus and they asked him, why is he blind? Who sinned? Was it his parents that sinned? Was it he that sinned? Who did it? Why is he blind?

Rachael Jenneman (37:26.134)
And Jesus said, he's not blind because of sin. He's blind so the power of God can be shown through him. And then Jesus healed him.

and I've taken that story. Everybody has like a life verse. I don't have a life verse. I just say that's my life story.

And I say, okay, maybe I didn't do anything wrong, that my kids are the way they are, but they are the way they are, so the power of God can be shown through them. And I've had to remind my son, my youngest guy, with the sensory issues, dyslexia, dysgraphia, I've had to remind him, some of the most successful people in the world have dyslexia.

Elyse Scheeler (38:12.266)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (38:13.804)
Why? Because they've had to work hard for everything they have. They know how to push through. They know how to persevere. And I said, that's going to be you. You, this may be difficult for you to read. You may be in sixth grade and have a second grade reading level because of this dyslexia. But I'm not worried about you being successful because you know how to persevere. So being able to take those uniquenesses

or what we see as negatives and say, okay, how can God be glorified through this? Just like the blind man. How can we take this negative and flip it around to use it towards God's advantage? And you see that a lot with people that are in the limelight right now. I can't think of his name. He's from Europe. The guy that has no arms or legs. You know what I'm talking about? He preaches all over the place. He's either from Europe or Australia. I don't remember which one.

But I mean, famous speaker, amazing preacher, most humble man ever, has born with no arms and no legs. And his testimony is amazing. And I'm going, yeah, for lack of a better term, that sucks. But God is using it to bring glory to his name.

Elyse Scheeler (39:32.478)
Mm-hmm.

Rachael Jenneman (39:35.618)
So what can my kids do to bring glory to God's name through the way they're uniquely created?

Elyse Scheeler (39:41.118)
Yeah. Amen. That is just so powerful. And I just, I just appreciate you sharing all of this with us. think that our listeners have, you know, hopefully I think that probably one of the most important things is they can relate. Right. I mean, we can relate to those, those, feelings and you know, for me, my kids aren't quite IEP age, but those appointments where you just get in your car and cry afterwards. Right. And you don't know like, okay, what are we doing?

Rachael Jenneman (39:57.006)
The Food.

Rachael Jenneman (40:04.865)
Right.

Elyse Scheeler (40:08.382)
but then also being reminded of how God can use us and how God is there supporting us and loving us through it and that he is going to help our children be successful in their own unique way. As we wrap up here, can you just remind our listeners, where can they find you on social media or if they wanna connect with you?

Rachael Jenneman (40:29.038)
So I am on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. I know, I am middle-aged woman on TikTok, but I don't care, I love it. So you will find me, Rachel Gentleman. Facebook, it's Rachel Gentleman, but it also has unique on purpose tagged to it. But you'll be able to find, just use the handle at Rachel Gentleman, and you'll be able to find me. And then rachelgentleman.com.

Elyse Scheeler (40:35.69)
Whatever.

Elyse Scheeler (40:51.294)
wonderful. We'll think... Perfect. Well, thank you so much for your time.

Rachael Jenneman (40:56.098)
Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you so much.